Caitlin Kunkel

Comedy Writer, Director & Producer

Parsed Subtext of Greeters at Mall Clothing Stores

Posted on January 9, 2015

Doge loves to shop

Doge loves to shop

Welcome to Urban Outfitters! Please enjoy cheap material covered in patterns stolen from independent artists who will never see a dime!

Welcome to Old Navy! Everything is basically free and made of thin material so you can feel confident that your nipples will always show!

Welcome to J. Crew! May I suggest that the reason our jackets do not fit you is because you don’t belong to the American ruling class?

Welcome to Victoria’s Secret! There isn’t enough padding in the world to cover the wounds to your self-esteem you are about to sustain.

Welcome to H+M! No one who works here has ever used the word “irony” correctly.

Welcome to Anthropologie! May I not-so-subtly imply that our clothing will never hang right on your disgusting body?

Welcome to Hot Topic! We’re just as embarrassed as you.

Welcome to Brooks Brothers! The food court is that way, you’ve obviously made a wrong turn.

That Thing I NaNoWriMo’d This Year (Hint: Not a Novel)

Posted on December 3, 2014

me during the final three days

 

Each year in November, people all over the world participate in the time-honored tradition of writing an entire book in one month. These artistic endeavors immediately go on to win National Book Awards and sell many, many copies.

HAHA J/K HAHAHA. Most of these books never see the light of day, and the ones that amount to anything are rewritten heavily over the course of many more months. I’ve never actually written a novel at all, nevermind in one month, but I do love me some deadlines. So I use the month of November to write one long-form project that has been percolating for a while but for whatever reason, I haven’t yet gotten to. This year, that took the form of a play.

I wrote the first five pages immediately for Script Tease, then procrastinated until about November 18th before writing 70 more pages of a play called “The Uh-Oh E-Mail.” I’m currently adding in a few more scenes and rewriting the most offensive of the exposition dump truck dialogue, then I’ll send if out to a few writers who understand how to give constructive first draft notes rather than just say something like “ew this is bad you wasted a month STAHP.”

I actually really like the first pass, as on-the-nose and rushed as many parts of it feel. It let me pull in some of my thoughts and feels about working in a nonprofit, something I thankfully no longer do. The inciting incident of the play involves the four main characters all finding out each other’s salaries and unsurprisingly, conflict ensues. Like it does when you find out your office enemy makes more than you for the same job.

The plan is to rewrite during December, send it out to another group of readers in January, then rewrite through the first part of 2015 before submitting to some festivals and opportunities.

That’s my NaNoWriMo non-novel playwriting story for this year! I definitely wouldn’t have written 5 pages a day all through a holiday weekend on my own, so for that I am thankful to this horrifying acronym of a month.

Twittering All Over the Place – @KunkelTron

Posted on November 24, 2014

As much as I love this tiny space of the internet I have carved out for myself, I feel that I feel I do my best work in 140 characters or less over on Twitter. Follow me @KunkelTron for some pure fire like these tweets:

Or this:

Or this:

Or even these scathing takes on marriage:

FOLLOW ME – YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT**

**NON-REGRET NOT GUARANTEED

Script Tease at the Brody Theater

Posted on November 20, 2014

someoneecards.com

someoneecards.com

This past weekend I was very pleased to once again participate in Script Tease, a great show at the Brody Theater. A playwright provides the first 5 pages of a new play containing 3-6 characters, the audience assigns roles, the actors read the pages and then…drop them and improvise the rest of the play.

I participated last year with a script called “Game Night” and loved the murder mystery that evolved. This year I was unable to attend the performance, but heard feedback on what happened from others in the audience. I was so inspired with what the performers did with the characters that I’ve decided to write the entire play before the end of November. I’m 20 pages in so far to “The Uh-Oh E-Mail.” Can’t wait to have a whole draft in (gulp) ten days!

Here is The Oregonian’s write up on the show from last year.

Wish me luck!

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